Fresh Idioms- I

The world requires spanking- new idioms. How long can we keep on using the tried-and-tested idioms? A new generation needs a new set. So this feature will try to breathe some fresh air into the hackneyed world of idioms!!

So how about similes in this feature?

as white as a bleached whale
as clever as a thwarted fox
as contrite as a convict in the docks
as sweet as clotted cream
as dissatisfied as an aging starlet
as swift as a scalded cat

Quirky Haikus- VI

Main street woes build up.
Another one bites the dust-
Circuit city doom.

Insider brawling-
Palin and McCain camps are
Baying for Blood.

Quirky Haikus- V

This time, I cannot take credit for the haikus.

In Japan, Sony Vaio machines have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with their own Japanese haiku poetry.

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The Web site you seek
Can not be located but
Countless more exist
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask way too much.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
“My Novel” not found.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Having been erased,
The document you’re seeking
Must now be retyped.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

French Tongue-Twisters (Virelangues)

1) Pauvre petit pêcheur, prend patience pour pouvoir prendre plusieurs petits poissons.

2) Cinq chiens chassent six chats.

3) Tu t'entêtes à tout tenter, tu t'uses et tu te tues à tant t'entêter.

4) Tatie, ton thé t'a-t-il ôté ta toux,
disait la tortou au tatou.
Mais pas du tout, dit le tatou,
Je tousse tant que l'on m'entend
de Tahiti au Toumbouctou

5) Si ces six cents six sangsues sont sur son sein sans sucer son sang, ces six cents six sangsues sont sans succès.

6) Tas de riz, tas de rats.
Tas de riz tentant, tas de rats tentés.
Tas de riz tentant tenta tas de rats tentés.
Tas de rats tentés tâta tas de riz tentant.

Also here are the lyrics to the song by Boby Lapointe, fantastic and funny French singer
Ta Katie t'a quitté
Ta Katie t'a quitté
t'es cocu, qu'attends tu ?
Cuites toi, t'es cocu
T'as qu'à, t'as qu'à t' cuiter
Et quitter ton quartier
Ta Katie t'a quitté
Ta tactique était toc
Ta tactique était toc
Ta Katie t'a quitté.

Quirky Haikus- IV

(i) Swinging and Rocking-
Painting the town Red or Blue
Barack or Mccain?

(Red represents the GOP; Blue the democrats; That's why we see a lot of political commentators wearing purple ties or accessories... Being impartial :-) )

(ii) (Palin's Rant)
Back to Alaska
Shooting moose,eating humble pie
And sighting Russia.

(iii)
Scary movie poll-
Saw, shining, Ring or is it
President Palin?

Politically Correct!

Have you wondered who coined the soft-cushions for the hard knocks of life? Yes, I am talking about politically correct terms such as "vertically challenged" for "short" or "melanin challenged" for "white". Here are some I made up.

1) Stupid Neurally limited
2) Dull Creatively impaired
3) Dead Life-deprived
4) Boring Fun-neutered
5) Criminal Morally challenged
6) Poor Cash impaired
7) Fat Horizontally challenged
8) Thin Adipose-deficient
9) Divorced Maritally martial

French Argot- I

One of the interesting things about a language is that it is dynamic. It constantly evolves and it is a potrayal of the real culture.

Take for instance, french argot (argot is the word for slang!!) It has developed to such an extent that argot is like another language by itself. Argot actually began as a secret language amongst the criminal classes in 20th century France. It was secret so that police spies could not understand them. But now argot has become standard especially in informal settings.

One of the best ways to pick up french argot is to listen to songs of Renaud.

Here are some argot to practise!!

Now if Todd Palin was the First Dude, he would be "Premier Mec" (mec being a guy):-)
I find the stock markets to be "dingue" (crazy).
Saturday Night Live is really "marrant" (funny).
My "boulot" (job) is "vachement" (very) "genial" (good).